This is the background to your life. [entries|friends|calendar] um_hi_im_carrie [ userinfo | livejournal userinfo ] [ calendar | livejournal calendar ]

comment to do list [26 Aug 2007|12:01pm] [ mood | creative ] clean out closet dye hair eat eat shower eat come down get payless schedule drop spanish class and find another one where the hell is mulvey do psych online work go to alexandria and get books, then arlington with lauren go right back up. write write write write write write. I feel like there's a door to my mind that only she can open.  Thoughts and feelings just pour out of it and onto the paper( or computer screen). Everything seems so unbelievably clear.. I wouldn't be surprised if my brain actually leaked out of my eyes or something.. fuck what am I talking about?? I need to get out of here, the  parents are home and she's still in my head.

comment [27 Jul 2007|11:17am] Today is gonna be bad.. I know I have to let him go but I don't want to..he's my best friend and I love being able to talk to him and hang out with him. I know that I hurt him but god.. I don't know what to do, I could be selfish.. or maybe it's just time to let go as much as it'll hurt. Girls night with Lynds tonight, I think we both need it. My tattoo is sore and I have to get ready for work...

comment [24 Jul 2007|10:24am] [ mood | venting ] Do you really wanna know why? The truth? Because I feel the same way about you that you feel about her.  I would give anything to wake up next to you again..for you to call me sweetheart and wrap your arms around me to keep me warm. I'd give anything to look into those beautiful blue eyes and feel those crazy butterflies in my stomach, the ones that no one else in this world has ever made me feel. I miss the 4 AM phone calls, the drunken nights and morning cigarettes, giving you backrubs and playing with your hair. I know you never felt the same but I didn't care.  I gave you my whole heart.. but it became too much. And I found out I couldn't win no matter how hard I tried, and how much I chased after you. I've always told people I could never see myself getting married, but what I really meant was I could never see myself waking up everyday next to anyone other than you.

2 comment [26 Apr 2006|09:28am] [ mood | sick ] Another day where I don't even want to wake up at all... this is neverending. =( Ugh, I should've gone to the show with Matt, Lauren and Crystal...

comment [25 Apr 2006|08:33am] [ mood | restless ] "Love is like playing the piano. First you must learn to play by the rules, then you must forget the rules and play from your heart." -Unknown God I am so lazy. I'm too lazy to go to my classes, I make up excuses not to go to work, I'm too lazy to get up and go get breakfast. I don't want breakfast, I'm not hungry. I was too lazy to do my extra credit which I really need. I'm just so tired. I want to curl up in my bed and sleep forever. I want to just stop thinking completely. I need one of those mental health days or something, heh. I do have a huge bucket of sherbert ice cream still left in the freezer. =)

2 comment [24 Apr 2006|09:08am] [ mood | crushed ] 'Cause I can't stop it now It's so amazing how, I know I can't, I could never walk away. How can we resolve this now We let it go, and wonder how this can ever be the same. Things will never be the same. <3cartel This weekend has completely devastated me. And I know I can't keep dwelling on it, but how am I supposed to move on and let it go? I gave him everything, and when I say everything I mean everryyythingg. I trusted him and I even apologized for doubting him, and he let me. How can you let someone feel bad and apologize for something when, in fact, you really did screw up?? I guess I just still don't understand the whole situation. I don't understand how his mind works. There's no way I could ever possibly trust him again, and without that, what do we have? nothing. He threw away nine months in one night with some "careless mistake". It's like a bad movie that keeps playing in my head, repeating the same scene over and over and I just want to press stop but I don't know how. Maybe I shouldn't have asked what really happened, maybe I should've let him lie so it might be easier for me to let it go. Mmm, a nice cup of coffee.

1 comment [19 Mar 2006|01:23am] So I've had a pretty crappy day today. But for some reason MTV decided to actually play music videos tonight, and I just heard this song that completely changed my mood. Isn't it weird how one little thing like a song can make you feel like nothing is wrong? I think I can sleep now.

1 comment [24 Jan 2006|12:57pm] [ mood | hungry ] My english teacher makes us read the strangest stories. Like this one with a creepy dark haired lady coming out of wallpaper and crawling around the house. It reminded me of The Ring. Can you imagine me sitting up at midnight reading this story. Yeah, made me all paranoid. So I suppose I'm going to this metal fest thing on Saturday although I don't see the point..except that pretty much all my friends are going. But for $17 I still think it's going to be lame. =/ I need food.

comment yeah. [22 Jan 2006|02:39pm] ranso_m________

3 comment WOOSH IS THE NEW WOOT [21 Jan 2006|05:55pm] [ mood | bored ] I LOVE LAUREN AND FLUFF BUTT BRANDON IS LAME AND I LIKE TO SIT IN THE BATHROOM WITH HIM WHILE HE PLUCKS HIS BUTT HAIR. LAUREN ROCKS AND I LOVE HER AND I LIKE DANCING ON POLES WITH HER. CRYSTAL IS GAY, THAT IS WHY I STAY AWAY FROM HER. I'M SCARED HE MIGHT DO ME IN THE BOOTAY. I LIKE GAY BOYS, AND I LIKE WATCHING THEM PULL EACHOTHERS.... HAIR, DUH. I WISH I WAS A BIRD, I CAN SIIING LA LA LA LA VIBA BOOO. I WILL ALWAYS HEART YOU POOO. WOOSH I WISH I WAS PINK, NOT THE PERSON, THE COLOR. JASON IS GAY, AND LIKE TO BANG BIG HEADED, TWO FACEDED, WHORES. LMFHAO! LAUREN AND VIRTUAL PETS EGUAL HOT SEX. FOSH MY NUKKA FACED PIMP. AND THERE IS THE STORY OF MY LIFE. IT'S GAY AND LAME AND I LOOOOOOOOOVIEO IT LIKE BANNANNAS!(YES I SUNG THE SONG WHILE I TYPEDEDEDED IT.) DON'T BE A HATER BE A WAITER!=P

2 comment ew. [21 Jan 2006|12:15pm] [ mood | blank ] I hate this feeling. I'm not even going to my little cousin's birthday party today because I'm stupid and have to think about things too much to the point where I actually feel sick. And whether or not Brandon goes, I can't wait for my family's trip to Punta Cana or the Bahamas or somewhere. I keep looking at the pictures of the beaches and resorts and keep thinking summer can't come fast enough. I don't know what I'm doing today. Let's see if Brandon actually calls or texts me for once in his life. =P

1 comment I suppose I'll start using this thing. [11 Jan 2006|12:26pm] [ mood | blah ] I used my old layout from my previous livejournal cause I really didn't feel like messing around with layouts. They frustrate me. But this one won't be here for long.

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